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Chorus
And there's a heartache and a memory and just a tear or two,
In a broken-hearted lover's stew.

There are nine carrots to remind me of the ring I bought for you,
Some mint for all the crazy things we mint to do,
A lettuce 'cause your mom and dad would not let us alone,
I won't put in the truffles, you've got truffles of your own.
An artichoke for the 'earty jokes your father used to tell,
And as he was a Welshman we'll have a leek as well.
And your cousin, the religious one, so sanctimonious,
For him some loaves and fishes 'cause that's all he ever does.

[chorus]

There is a radish 'cause you kept repeating that your love was true,
A beet root for the way I said that I'd beet root to you,
Some shallots for the times I said I love you such-shallot,
Some capers to remind me of what up to which we got.
A turnip for the way you always used to turnip late,
A melon for the melancholy way I used to wait.
A chili for how I felt while I waited for you,
And a marrow to remind me of what I was frozen to.

[chorus]

There is a swede to remind me of the man you left for me,
An egg because you used to egg me on incessantly,
And your little baby brother, what a messy little kid,
For him some wine and water 'cause that's all he ever did.
Oh I was fond of olives and you liked herbs I know,
I gave up seeing Olive but Herb didn't want to go.
So for the man who won you there is one thing I must do,
But in some sage and onions 'cause he wants stuffing too.

[chorus]
Oh poo!